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"Will & Grace" Audio Clips

 
Grace Audio Clips
Grace
Jack Audio Clips
Jack
Karen Audio Clips
Karen
Rosario Audio Clips
Rosario
Will Audio Clips
Will
Misc Audio Clips
Misc

Grace

  • ACompliment.wav – "That is not a compliment. A compliment is 'You're sexy, you turn me on,' not 'One look at you proves I'm a queer.'" (301 KB) #03.08
  • ADump.wav – "If we were at Karen's right now, there would be someone to do this for me. This place is a dump." (138 KB) #04.04
  • Apology.wav – "There was a situation that happened between us. And as a result of that situation, you were upset. For that, I'm sorry." (265 KB) #07.18
  • BadGayMan.wav – "Bad gay man, bad gay man!" (118 KB)
  • BigAssYacht.wav – "Gosh, Will, it is so great to date a guy who's grown up, who's secure with who he is, who isn't emotionally needy, who owns a big-ass yacht." (350 KB) #02.23
  • BringItOnNancy.wav – "Bring it on, Nancy." (118 KB)
  • Cuter.wav – "Oh, my God. Could you be any cuter?" (139 KB) #03.01
  • HeartAttack.wav – "If you tell me he's gay, I'm gonna have a freakin' heart attack!" (118 KB) #04.06
  • HeDumpedMe.wav – "He dumped me!" (40 KB)
  • HelloLover.wav – "Hello, lover." (32 KB)
  • HotBlackLover.wav – "You're jealous of my hot, black lover." (200 KB) #03.03
  • Incarnation.wav – "Whoa. You know, just because you are becoming the incarnation of pure evil does not give you permission to take it out on me." (369 KB)
  • InsideTheHouse.wav – "He takes pictures of me sleeping. He thinks that's beautiful. To me, it's a little, 'The call is coming from inside the house.'" (357 KB)
  • JaneSeymour.wav – "As Jane Seymour says to her wheelchair-bound husband in every Lifetime movie... 'I believe in you.'" (357 KB)
  • Kabbalah.wav – "I'm not angry. I don't get angry. Not since I found Kabbalah." (169 KB) #07.01
  • KinkyBuiltIn.wav – "Yeah, but you're gay. You have the kinky built in." (196 KB) #03.06
  • Lollipops.wav – "Do whatever you want. 'Cause today I'm handing out lollipops and ass whuppings, and I'm all out of lollipops." (348 KB)
  • LouisVuitton.wav – "I can't afford Louis Vuitton, and her dog poops in it." (138 KB) #02.22
  • Myself.wav – "You may not know this about me, but I really hate talking about myself." (58 KB) #07.19
  • NotGonnaDyingTo.wav – "I'm not gonna sleep with him. Even though he's dying to..." (830 KB)
  • Obama.wav – "Speakin' of butts, had another sex dream last night. This time I was in the shower with Barack Obama. Oh-bama, he was ba-rocking my world." (291 KB) #07.10
  • Package.wav – "You wanna be useful? Help the man standing behind you with the big package...." (217 KB)
  • Pants.wav – "Let's play a game Will and I like to call 'What Annoys Me About My Best Friend'. I'll go first. Will, those pants make you loook like you have a vagina." (164 KB) #07.07
  • SarcasmFirst.wav – "Why do your people always go to sarcasm first?" (100 KB)
  • Stepford.wav – "No one is that sweet and nice. She's like a Stepford Hag." (67 KB) #07.07
  • StressedOut.wav – "God, I'm so stressed out!" (79 KB)
  • TestDrive.wav – "You bastard! I'm in love with you, and you're treating me like some sort of test drive?" (450 KB) #03.08
  • Thanksgiving.wav – "Will is known for his perfect Thanksgivings. Except the one where he proposed to me, told me he was gay, and then snuck out in the middle of the night while I was sobbing in bed. But I hardly ever think about that one." (200 KB) #07.10
  • TheBitchBrunch.wav – "You know, I really didn't want to be invited to the bitch brunch." (119 KB)
  • TheRealCrime.wav – "Look, my choices were flawless, and if your client can't see that, then he is guilty of extremely bad taste, and isn't that the real crime here today?" (306 KB)
  • ToldYaSo.wav – "Told you so, told you so, told ya, told ya, told ya so." (178 KB)
  • WG-BegForIt.wav – "You might as well say yes now before I make my gay guy beg for it." (57 KB) #04.23
  • WG-GoIntoBedroom.wav – "Why don't you guys just go into the bedroom?" (101 KB) #04.16
  • WG-HairCrimper.wav – "Jack! Why is my door locked? You better not be using my hair crimper on your bad place again." (90 KB) #04.15
  • WG-JackWorld.wav – "Hey Jack World, how about you move your Jack Feet before I kick your Jack Ass." (37 KB) #04.22
  • WG-PuffMagic.wav – "Look at me. I look all huffy and mannish. I'm like... Puff the Magic Drag Queen." (74 KB) #04.23
  • WG-Shoes.wav – "So, what are we gonna use those two extra rooms for? Shoes!" (46 KB) #04.16
  • WG-WhatsThis.wav – "Oh, honey! What's this all about?" (50 KB)

Jack

  • ADysfunctionReading.wav – "Let's take a dysfunction reading in the room, shall we? Oh yeah, the wind's-a-blowin'." (170 KB)
  • AHag.wav – "Someday, I hope to have a hag of my very own." (118 KB) #02.17
  • AllTheWay.wav – "A platonic cupping of the crotchal area is one thing, but to touch a man's hair? They've gone all the way." (98 KB) #07.12
  • AnneHeche.wav – "You can't just start sleeping with women. Who are you, Anne Heche?" (239 KB)
  • BeMyLover.wav – "Oh, my god. He's gay, and he's gonna be my lover." (72 KB)
  • Bettina.wav – "Bettina's one of our favorite people. We love her." (230 KB)
  • Birdwatcher.wav – "So you're a bird watcher. I bet you've seen a cockatoo." (55 KB) #07.16
  • BurnThoseJeans.wav – "Burn those jeans, your ass looks huge!" (88 KB) #03.08
  • Buttrobics.wav – "Ladies and gentlemen, fresh from 45 minutes of butt-robics, I give you my ass." (256 KB)
  • Charm.wav – "It was Will, wasn't it? He got to you with his devilish charm and those piercing eyes and occasional touch, you never know what it means. Ah, Will." (197 KB) #07.10
  • Client.wav – "He used to call him a client. That was his code word...." (253 KB)
  • Cool.wav – "Boy, how cool are we, huh? All the girls wanna be us, and all the boys wanna date us." (95 KB) #07.11
  • Culottes.wav – "What crawled up your culottes?" (65 KB) #03.01
  • Democracy.wav – "I just pulled the lever for democracy. Oh, and I also voted." (165 KB) #04.08
  • Dignity.wav – "He's clinging to it like he's Kirstie Alley and the class is a shred of dignity." (71 KB) #07.21
  • DivaWig.wav – "Now I have hair from Bernadette Peters, Betty Buckley, and Idina Menzel..." (166 KB) #07.14
  • Divorce.wav – "Just be grateful you have a divorce to talk about. Gays aren't even allowed that right. That's why I'm voting for Jim Carrey." (311 KB) #07.03
  • EmotionalSupport.wav – "Why don't you guys go on. I think I can handle it from here...." (783 KB)
  • FetalPosition.wav – "Heard that! I am metaphorically curled up in the fetal position, and you continue to kick me about the ear, nose, and throat?" (219 KB)
  • FirstTime.wav – "God, that line's older than 'this is the first time I've ever done this with a man.'" (160 KB) #04.10
  • FlipFlops.wav – "Ok, ladies. Papa needs a new pair of flip-flops." (106 KB)
  • FrenchKiss.wav – "Tell Karen I want to French kiss her." (82 KB)
  • GayCulture.wav – "Well. Look who it is. The worst thing to happen to gay culture since straight guys started dressing gay." (235 KB) #07.06
  • GroundRules.wav – "And since this is my apartment now, we have a few new ground rules...." (644 KB) #02.23
  • HadMeAtHola.wav – "Rosario, my love, my life, my all... I adore you. You had me at hola." (278 KB)
  • HeteroMarriage.wav – "Heterosexual marriage is just wrong. I mean, if God had intended man and woman to be together, he would've given them both penises." (340 KB) #02.19
  • HGN.wav – "Do you know what we have here? The rarest of all gay subspecies: The Hot Gay Nerd!" (134 KB) #07.16
  • HottieMcHot.wav – "Let me just say Hottie McHot." (106 KB)
  • IHeartPrison.wav – "Oh, Kare. I heart prison." (112 KB) #04.13
  • Internet.wav – "I don't know, Karen. You gotta be careful. You can't trust people you meet on the Internet..." (245 KB) #07.15
  • IWillHitYou.wav – "Oh, Grace, I'm not like the other men in your life. I will hit you." (189 KB) #02.23
  • JustJackIsDead.wav – "Just Jack is dead to me. I'm sick of people coming up to me on the street going 'nyee nyee'." (148 KB) #03.05
  • KissItSpankIt.wav – "Kiss it, Kiss it, Spank it!" (191 KB)
  • KittenWithAWhip.wav – "God, I had no idea you'd be so kitten with a whip!" (118 KB)
  • Lemon.wav – "Oh, yay. Lemon, lemon, lemon. I win a dull night." (71 KB) #07.10
  • NancyDrew.wav – "Good work, Nancy Drew! Let's meet up at Old Mystery Creek!" (106 KB)
  • NiceBigDog.wav – "I've stayed with many a guy 'cause he had a nice big dog." (117 KB) #03.16
  • OldMaid.wav – "What do we have here? One Jack, three queens, and an old maid." (132 KB) #07.05
  • Pacifier.wav – "Gosh, I felt so bad the way we left things, I rushed right over after seeing Vin Diesel in The Pacifier." (124 KB) #07.19
  • RagingMo.wav – "I'm sorry, I'm a wee bit confused. Um... how can I put this delicately? You're a raging 'mo yourself." (145 KB) #07.15
  • RepressedStraightGuy.wav – "I'm raiding your closet. They said, 'Dress like a repressed straight guy.'" (128 KB)
  • RingImBored.wav – "Ring. Hello? What's that? I'm bored? Yeah, thanks for calling. Bye-bye." (311 KB) #03.13
  • RobotWill.wav – "Hello. My name is Will. I have no human emotions. I am made of only wires, metal, and fat." (271 KB)
  • RueMcClanahan.wav – "I just hope she's not a screamer like that prissy Rue McClanahan." (59 KB) #07.14
  • SaggingSpirits.wav – "What's wrong with you? Your spirits are sagging lower than your breasteses." (91 KB) #07.14
  • Shalom.wav – "For gay guys, a hand down the pants just means hello, good-bye and peace. It's our shalom." (104 KB) #07.12
  • StopBadgeringMe.wav – "Stop badgering me with your $10 words!" (99 KB)
  • TownBird.wav – "Oh, please. This place is so gay, the town bird is a condom." (67 KB) #07.18
  • Tweezed.wav – "Oh, dear God, you've over-tweezed again. Let me look at you. Nope, can't be saved. My advice: put two chopsticks in your hair, wear a kimono, and speak only when spoken to." (200 KB) #07.07
  • Unnatural.wav – "Where the hell are all the queers you promised us, Karen?! God, even the waiters are straight. It's unnatural." (177 KB) #07.15
  • VanDerBeek.wav – "Oh, my god. It's about James van Der Beek, isn't it? Is Beek off The Creek?" (287 KB) #02.21
  • WG-Assistant.wav – "Then remember your place. You're the assistant. Let's not forget where that word comes from. Latin for ass of an ant." (60 KB) #04.23
  • WG-CryingBaby.wav – "This is not something you can run away from. It's not like it's a hotel bill or a crying baby." (44 KB)
  • WG-DrinkIOrdered.wav – "Excuse me! Rudeness! I would like the drink I ordered! And maybe even a 'Hello, my name is pbblt. I'll be your server tonight.'" (87 KB) #04.16
  • WG-GetThisGay.wav – "Ok.. So, let me get this gay." (24 KB) #04.21
  • WG-Interesting.wav – "Interesting, interesting. Yet not so." (31 KB) #04.16
  • WG-MoodRing.wav – "Hi Kare, I'd love to stay and fondle but Grace's mood ring is a flithy brown today." (48 KB) #04.22
  • WG-NextTrick.wav – "For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, which would be a nice change of pace seeing as they usually charge me." (73 KB) #04.23
  • WG-NoIdea.wav – "You have no idea what you're getting yourself in to. I'd help you but it's not my problem." (40 KB) #04.22
  • WG-RetainWater.wav – "Unlike your thighs, that argument doesn't retain water." (32 KB) #04.21
  • WG-Rudeness.wav – "Excuse me! Rudeness!" (25 KB) #04.16
  • WG-SameShirt.wav – "Oh my God, I have that same shirt! Except mine..." (109 KB)
  • WG-ShowerTogether.wav – "This is the Gay Men's Chorus. Who cares about choral music? We just want to go to Europe and shower together." (48 KB) #04.15
  • WG-ThisManIs.wav – "Stop it! I can't take it anymore! This man is straight!" (59 KB) #04.15
  • WG-Vocabulary.wav – "Hmm... someone's got a big vocabulary and a little dictionary." (70 KB) #04.21
  • WindBeneathMyTush.wav – "You are the wind beneath my tush." (79 KB) #02.22
  • YouAreFabulous.wav – "Peter, Paul and Mary, you are fabulous!" (100 KB)

Karen

  • 2rocks.wav – "Lay one paw on me and you'll be picking up two other rocks on 9th Avenue." (176 KB)
  • 40HrMonth.wav – "I work a 40-hour month for what's-her-name, and I always make time for us." (124 KB) #03.06
  • ABigLez.wav – "Oh my God. You're a big lez." (208 KB) #03.03
  • AboutThisBlouse.wav – "Honey, we talked about this blouse." (37 KB)
  • AGoodRoleModel.wav – "Grace is a damn good role model..." (538 KB) #03.04
  • AllTheFreaks.wav – "Lordy, lordy, look at all the freaks." (99 KB)
  • AnastasiaBeaverhausen.wav – "I'm sorry, you must've mistaken me for somebody else. My name is Anastasia Beaverhausen." (192 KB)
  • AnybodyHomo.wav – "Knock knock, anybody homo?" (65 KB) #04.14
  • AreYouWorkinMeWilma.wav – "Are you workin' me, Wilma?!" (73 KB)
  • AssistingMyAssOff.wav – "...I am assisting my ass off!" (270 KB)
  • AStraightOne.wav – "What do you know, Grace? You bagged a straight one." (78 KB)
  • BashYourFace.wav – "Honey, I'm too tired to slap you. Bash your face against my palm." (101 KB) #04.18
  • BookClub.wav – "Listen, honey, I gotta get going. I gotta go to my Christian Book Club meeting. Today we're burning Catcher in the Rye." (116 KB) #07.13
  • BrownIsOver.wav – "Brown is Over." (55 KB)
  • ByYourInflection.wav – "By your inflection, I can tell that you think what you're saying is funny, but...no." (180 KB)
  • ChristmasPlans.wav – "There go my Christmas plans of sittin' in a dark room and drinking!" (61 KB) #07.11
  • CloseYourMouth.wav – "Close your mouth. You look like you're missing a chromosome." (94 KB)
  • CrackAWindow.wav – "Hey, fellas. Either sweat less or crack a window, huh?" (185 KB)
  • Cult.wav – "It's a cult, I tell ya. Mm-hmm, just like the Moonies or the homosexuals or the elderly." (229 KB) #07.03
  • Delicious.wav – "Oh-ho. This is so delicious, it's got to be fattening." (168 KB) #07.18
  • DirtyPigBoy.wav – "This room is a pigsty, and you're a dirty pig boy..." (476 KB)
  • DrinksPilingUp.wav – "I've got drinks piling up on my desk and a stack of pills I haven't even opened yet!" (178 KB) #04.01
  • Eepycray.wav – "Wait a minute! Don't you find this just a little bit eepycray?" (166 KB)
  • Elevator.wav – "I'll never forget it. My fellow office workers and I..." (703 KB) #04.18
  • FYI.wav – "FYI: I will no longer cry, ooh..." (207 KB) #07.01
  • Gayness.wav – "Honey, your gayness can be seen from space!" (116 KB) #04.19
  • GetALife.wav – "You need to get a life." (66 KB)
  • GetOutAlready.wav – "Get out already!" (48 KB)
  • GettingOld.wav – "I'm getting old. You know, when I saw myself in that mirror today, all I could think was, I should be wearing a boa and Wayland Flowers should have his hand up my ass." (199 KB) #07.19
  • GoodPeople.wav – "For a scheming, husband-stealing, skanky whore, you're good people." (214 KB)
  • GoodTaste.wav – "How'd you hurt your back? Running away from good taste?" (114 KB) #04.09
  • HagHeaven.wav – "Lord, all these gays in one room. Grace, you must be in hag heaven." (184 KB) #07.05
  • HateSpeech.wav – "Where did you hear that? Who taught you that hate speech?" (213 KB) #07.03
  • Heat.wav – "Driver, turn the heat up! There's a little nip in the air. Oh, make that two of 'em." (90 KB) #07.09
  • Heaven.wav – "Honey, this shirt on you is heaven." (96 KB)
  • HeyApron.wav – "Hey, apron. Who told you you could make eye contact?" #03.07
  • HiPoodle.wav – "Oh, hi poodle!" (48 KB)
  • HiPoodle2.wav – "Hi poodle!" (Jack) "Who's your daddy?" (Karen) "You are." (137 KB)
  • HiPoodle3.wav – "Hi poodle..." (Jack) "Who's your daddy?" (Karen) "You are..." (358 KB) #03.14
  • ImFabulous.wav – "I'm fabulous. I'm an incredible dresser, I've got buckets of money, I'm a hoot and a half, and I got a killer rack." (239 KB) #03.04
  • ImFun.wav – "You're boring and I'm fun." (60 KB) #03.08
  • InTheBag.wav – "I know that you're still mad at me about what happened with Josh, but when you think about it, really, honey, shouldn't you be mad at yourself for taking advice from somebody who was probably half in the bag at the time?" (435 KB)
  • Jockey.wav – "Oh, honey, you were right. That was just what I needed. Oh, that hunky spaghetti jockey chewed my ear like he was at an all-you-can-eat calamari bar." (173 KB) #07.10
  • JustASaying.wav – "Honey, that's just a saying, like 'ooh, that sounds like fun' or 'I love you.'" (98 KB) #03.12
  • KarenWalkerDesigns.wav – "Karen Walker Designs" (53 KB)
  • LifePartner.wav – "I don't like how chummy she is with your non-romantic life partner." (142 KB)
  • LoveThis.wav – "I love this." (33 KB)
  • MasonSweetie.wav – "Mason, sweetie, would you a like a glass of milk with that pie? What the hell?!" (161 KB) #02.16
  • MeetsAndCheeses.wav – "Meats and cheeses! You are rockin' my clock, Mary!" (171 KB)
  • MexicanFaceLifts.wav – "She's gone to Mexico for face-lifts so many times, I'll bet if you whacked her head with a stick, prizes would fall out." (526 KB) #03.17
  • MinnieDriver.wav – "Oh, Minnie Driver, who ever told you you could pull off a leather jumpsuit?" (162 KB)
  • MoveThatDesk.wav – "You move that desk, bitch!" (121 KB) #04.10
  • MuyLoco.wav – "...Things are muy loco at the officina." (257 KB)
  • PradaVodka.wav – "That's like saying that Pradas are just shoes, or vodka is just a morning beverage." (252 KB)
  • PrayForDaylight.wav – "...Grab a bottle, hunker down and pray for daylight!" (256 KB) #02.01
  • Pretty.wav – "Gee, honey, you look real pretty today. Maybe sometime I could borrow your little kitty shirt." (93 KB) #03.12
  • Property.wav – "Okay, I guess I'll ask the obvious question. Since when are gays allowed to own property?" (135 KB) #07.18
  • Qualified.wav – "Your opinion means more than anyone else's here! As a matter of fact, I can't think of anyone more qualified...." (386 KB) #07.04
  • Queens.wav – "I'm not going to Queens! There are people living in cabs down there!" (121 KB) #02.23
  • RedCross.wav – "Well, don't let it go to your head. Your hair's already such a disaster that the Red Cross wouldn't give it coffee!" (268 KB) #03.16
  • Sideburns.wav – "What are you lookin' at, sideburns? Never seen somebody with money and soap?" (179 KB)
  • SkateFaster.wav – "Skate Faster! We have reservations!" (161 KB)
  • SleazySkank.wav – "You sleazy skank." (118 KB)
  • Spotless.wav – "Rosie, this place is spotless. Whatever you've been doing, why don't you do it to the tops of your hands?" (132 KB) #07.19
  • SpringEdition.wav – "Spring Edition. 600 pages. You've been nothing but a series of hoots and clicks to me since breakfast." (279 KB)
  • StansBitch.wav – "I'm Stanley Walker's Bitch!" (43 KB) #04.04
  • StatenIsland.wav – "Honey, when I agreed to drive you to the set, you didn't say it was on Staten Island! How the hell am I ever gonna get the stench of landfill and working class families out of tropical lightweight wool?" (541 KB)
  • StretchPants.wav – "Well, I find stretch pants appalling, but I'm too much of a lady to mention it, fat ass." (148 KB) #03.11
  • ThatBlouseHurts.wav – "Grace, that blouse hurts like a hangover." (86 KB) #03.08
  • ThatIsSoSweet.wav – "Honey, that is so sweet! No." (120 KB) #03.15
  • ThatSentence.wav – "Honey, do you know how many things are wrong with that sentence?" (190 KB)
  • TheProjects.wav – "Honey, what's with this place? You're a lawyer. Why are you living in the projects?" (138 KB)
  • TheWayYouDress.wav – "Grace, as long as we're being all warm and fuzzy here. You know how I always get on your case about the way you dress and the way you do your hair? Really, when are you going to do something about it?" (791 KB)
  • ThosePants.wav – "Honey, don't start with that or I'm going to go after those pants." (107 KB)
  • TurnedHisBack.wav – "And it looks like your new sweetie has turned his back on homosexuals. And not in the good way." (223 KB)
  • WereGonnaDie.wav – "Oh, my God. We're all gonna die in this car." (95 KB) #03.14
  • WG-ButtCrack.wav – "Back up, butt crack!" (14 KB)
  • WG-CatFight.wav – "That's a catfight waitin' to happen." (73 KB) #04.16
  • WG-GoFaster.wav – "Now go faster and talk dirty." (22 KB) #04.21
  • WG-GonnaBeMad.wav – "I'm gonna be so mad when my mood elevators wear off." (38 KB) #04.23
  • WG-HesMyWhore.wav – "How dare you! I love my husband! I would never dream of violating the sacred trust of our marriage by taking a lover! He's my whore." (128 KB) #04.15
  • WG-LastWoman.wav – "I wouldn't be friends with you if you were the last woman on earth." (43 KB) #04.21
  • WG-LookOutfit.wav – "Oh, good Lord. Look at this outfit." (42 KB)
  • WG-Magician.wav – "Sorry honey, a magician, like a prostitute, never reveals her tricks." (81 KB) #04.21
  • WG-NothingInc.wav – "Now that's why you're the president of Nothing, Inc." (28 KB)
  • WG-SexInHere.wav – "No, silly. I told everybody you were a whore, and I just want to make sure it sounds like we're having sex in here." (55 KB) #04.15
  • WG-ThatIsHuge.wav – "Oh my God! That is huge!" (52 KB) #04.15
  • WG-WineBeer.wav – "I'll have a wine with a beer-back and a vodka with a beer-front." (41 KB)
  • WhatsGoingOn.wav – "Honey, what's this? what's happening? What's going on?" (128 KB)

Rosario

Will

  • ABetterCar.wav – "You're not shy around men. You'd hit on the Pope if he drove a better car." (241 KB) #03.06
  • AfraidToCry.wav – "Well, I'm 5'11'', I'm not into games, I like horseback riding, skiing, and men who aren't afraid to cry." (96 KB)
  • BeaArthur.wav – "You've been trying to track down Patti LuPone ever since you came home with that clump of hair from Bea Arthur and finished your Golden Girls wig." (107 KB) #07.14
  • BongHit.wav – "Did you take a bong hit before you wrote that?" (111 KB)
  • Briefs.wav – "I'm here to do an interview for the premiere issue of Briefs, a magazine for cute gay lawyers." (108 KB) #07.14
  • BusyDayOfCrazy.wav – "Grace, go to bed. You've obviously had a very busy day of crazy." (131 KB)
  • Cowboy.wav – "Next year, I want a real cowboy." (84 KB)
  • FinalAnswer.wav – "It sounds like it'd be more fun than sitting at home, watching Regis say...." (189 KB)
  • HeLikesMe.wav – "Did I mention that he said he likes me." (75 KB) #03.08
  • IWasPlayingBasketball.wav – "I was playing basketball, and Jay Barr and I went up for a rebound. Our stomachs touched, and, by the time I came down, I was gay." (308 KB)
  • Kato.wav – "Don't worry. You can still stay in the guest room, Kato." (111 KB) #03.01
  • KickYourAss.wav – "How would you like it if I kicked your ass?" (84 KB) #03.08
  • KissYourOwnAss.wav – "Does it hurt your back to kiss your own ass like that?" (97 KB)
  • LizzieMaguire.wav – "This is worse than when I arranged to have my grandmother die the day you wanted to see the Lizzie Maguire movie." (168 KB) #07.02
  • MeanToYou.wav – "Grace, if everyone who was mean to you was put in jail..." (448 KB) #04.13
  • Monsters.wav – "What kind of monsters give a 10-year-old boy a baseball mitt, when what he asked for was an autographed 8x10 of Chita Rivera?" (269 KB) #07.05
  • Mourning.wav – "Maybe it'd cheer me up. You know, I mean, first me and Vince, then Brad and Jen. America's in mourning." (129 KB) #07.14
  • NoDivinerDesigner.wav – "And remember, there's no diviner designer." (127 KB)
  • OurFairyTale.wav – "They lived happily ever after. And that, children, concludes our fairy tale." (171 KB)
  • PatBuchanan.wav – "I would rather go out with an Ebola-riddled gibbon monkey than this guy. Hell, I'd rather go out with Pat Buchanan than this guy." (409 KB)
  • Portal.wav – "Would it be possible to move to another table and away from this one, which is apparently the portal to Satan's lair?" (104 KB) #07.16
  • QuarterToGetOut.wav – "Hey, look at the time. It's a quarter to get out!" (85 KB)
  • ReturnOfJustJack.wav – "Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the theater, the tragic return of Just Jack!" (175 KB) #03.05
  • Scouting.wav – "I myself will never know the joy of Scouting, because I like to kiss other boys." (82 KB) #04.03
  • SkinSoSoft.wav – "You're out of Skin-So-Soft?" (53 KB)
  • StraightGuys.wav – "Straight guys have gotta be out of their minds." (88 KB)
  • Stroke.wav – "Are you having your stroke in installments?" (75 KB) #04.11
  • ThatsMyMan.wav – "That's my man... My squeeze... My steady fella. No wonder I was alone for so long." (491 KB) #03.13
  • TubeTop.wav – "I'm sure you'd be very happy to see me dancing on a box in a sequined tube top." (138 KB)
  • Weddings.wav – "I guess weddings bring out the worst in me..." (365 KB) #03.10
  • WG-AskGuyOut.wav – "Just go and ask a guy out, the worst he can say is no. And even then, you'll probably still get a little action, I mean, we ARE guys." (98 KB)
  • WG-AugustusGloop.wav – "Slow down there Agustus Gloop you don't want to get sucked up into the pipe." (40 KB) #04.21
  • WG-HardAsARock.wav – "Well, I won't be getting any sleep tonight. It's as hard as a rock." (41 KB) #04.15
  • WG-HorribleRumor.wav – "Why would you spread such a horrible rumor?" (27 KB) #04.15
  • WG-JuliaRoberts.wav – "Here I am thinking I'm Julia Roberts in Erin Brockovich, and meanwhile I'm Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman!" (52 KB) #04.15
  • WG-LifeLacking.wav – "Twenty five hundred gay men who care. It's everything my life is lacking." (79 KB) #04.23
  • WG-MotherDropped.wav – "His mother accidently dropped him on his head when he was a baby. And then again on purpose last week." (57 KB) #04.21
  • WG-NoCamera.wav – "Karen, I am so sorry...that I don't have a camera right now!" (55 KB)
  • WG-StillDowner.wav – "No matter how many uppers you take, you're still a downer!" (24 KB) #04.21
  • WhisperMyName.wav – "Promise when your last breath escapes you in this earthly life, it will whisper my name. Will..." (226 KB) #03.01
  • YouFunnyLady.wav – "You funny lady!" (59 KB)
  • YouLittleMinx.wav – "You little minx!" (38 KB) #02.19

Misc

  • Aaron1.wav – AARON "I was just looking at the beautiful specimen right outside your window..." #07.16
  • AliceRobinson.wav – ALICE ROBINSON "You bitch! For 20 years, I have been afraid to talk because of my lisp..." (608 KB) #03.20
  • AnnetteDAngelo.wav – ANNETTE D'ANGELO "I've yet to meet a man who's good enough for my son..." #07.10
  • BeverleyLeslie2.wav – BEVERLEY LESLIE "I don't know what you're insinuating, but my precious wife Crystal would be here tonight..." #07.15
  • BeverleyLeslie3.wav – BEVERLEY LESLIE "Oh, Benji, I can't stand the sight of all this... homosexual dancing!" #07.15
  • BeverleyLeslie.wav – BEVERLEY LESLIE "Oh, I'm really going to enjoy having Rosario around the villa. She even alphabetized my imposter fragrances." (354 KB) #03.14
  • BeverleyLeslie1.wav – BEVERLEY LESLIE "Well, I hope your beau shows, because if that spotlight finds you all alone..." #07.15
  • CandyPruitt.wav – CANDY PRUITT "As much as I'd love to stay here sweatin' with the oldies, I'm getting a little woozy from the booze-y seeping from your enlarged pores." (328 KB) #03.17
  • Cher.wav – CHER "If I could turn back time." #03.07
  • WG-ChorusPolicy.wav – CHORUS DIRECTOR "We here at the chorus have a policy of tolerance. We used to have a policy of openness, but that got too many giggles." (79 KB) #04.15
  • Edward.wav – EDWARD "I don't believe in gay or straight. I refuse to limit pleasure. I like to think of myself as pansexual." #07.17
  • DimSum.wav – ELLEN "I don't know what you two are doing, but I know you're doing something, ok? [TO ROB] It's one of their weird little "Will-and-Grace things." It's like that time they tried to get us to eat 'dim sum.'" (382 KB) #04.17
  • WG-GuyWhoBegs.wav – FANNIE LIEBER "All right dammit, why am I such a sucker for a gay guy who begs!?" GRACE "Story of my life, sister." #04.23
  • WG-CheapUnderwear.wav – FANNIE LIEBER "Eh, you're Jewish." GRACE "How could you tell that?" FANNIE "Cheap underwear." #04.23
  • WG-LoveFags.wav – FANNIE LIEBER "Good for you. I love fags, married three of them." #04.23
  • GabeRobinson.wav – GABE ROBINSON "Are you hitting on me at my grandmother's funeral? Have you no shame? I'm embarrassed for you." (201 KB) #03.20
  • Gary.wav – GARY "Someone's planning a hostile takeover of Walker Inc..." #07.12
  • GeorgiaKeller.wav – GEORGIA KELLER "Okay, I'd like you to write a letter to your younger self..." #07.19
  • HarlinPolk.wav – HARLIN POLK "You know, Grace, I don't presume to understand the very modern relationship you two got going, but in the great state of Texas, you'd be considered a bitch." (298 KB)
  • JanetJackson.wav – JANET JACKSON "Welcome to Dance-Off 2004. Sponsored by Pennzoil." #07.02
  • Jimmy.wav – JIMMY "Oh, my God! Is that Cher? Did someone from advertising send that over..." #07.04
  • YoureMyDaddy.wav – JOHN MARSHALL "So, Jack, why don't we go someplace where we can be alone?" (507 KB)
  • Katherine.wav – KATHERINE "We're newlyweds. Single... How depressing would that be at my age?" #07.06
  • Larry.wav – LARRY "You know how you get to that place in your life when the endless parties and the up-all-night and the drinking and the casual sex just don't do it for you anymore?" JACK "I'm not following." (414 KB)
  • Lenore.wav – LENORE "You see, dears, um... We tell people we're sisters. But we're really... sisters." #07.15
  • Linus.wav – LINUS "Well, if you'll excuse me, I must go in the back and watch my stories..." #07.06
  • Margot2.wav – MARGOT "Grow up, Gary. Will's getting promoted because..." #07.13
  • Margot1.wav – MARGOT "How's my favorite gay lawyer at the firm?" #07.13
  • Marilyn2.wav – MARILYN TRUMAN "I would never betray my son's confidence..." #07.21
  • Marilyn.wav – MARILYN TRUMAN "I'm having a consensual adult relalationship with a man who's not my husband. And it's raunchy as hell." (246 KB) #04.18
  • Bleach.wav – MARILYN TRUMAN "Someone came into my house, destroyed something beautiful..." #07.11
  • Faygeleh.wav – MARILYN TRUMAN "Well, so long my little faygeleh." (33 KB) #07.11
  • Nadine.wav – NADINE "I hate Will..." (367 KB) #07.07
  • Nathan.wav – NATHAN "Um, I'm not really sure how to say what I want here...." (550 KB) #03.21
  • Ned.wav – NED WEATHERS "Since I moved to New York, I sent two letters in to the Times..." #07.04
  • Nick.wav – NICK "And the real myth must be that February 14 is the only day you're unpleasant and bitter." #07.15
  • OfficerCox.wav – OFFICER COX "It was riviting. The way you depicted how words..." (438 KB) #03.04
  • Olivia2.wav – OLIVIA WALKER "Remember that time when we glued the cookie to the floor..." #07.11
  • Olivia1.wav – OLIVIA WALKER "You're embarrassing me..." #07.11
  • WG-IceCapades.wav – OWEN "I'm as gay as the locker room at the Ice Capades!" (34 KB) #04.15
  • PaulBudnik.wav – PAUL BUDNIK "I want you to hold me till the pain goes away." (175 KB) #03.16
  • PaulDAngelo.wav – PAUL D'ANGELO "Usually, every year, it's traditional, I give the toast on Thanksgiving..." #07.10
  • Peter.wav – PETER BOVINGTON "It's sinfully delicious." #07.09
  • PorcelainPaul.wav – PORCELAIN PAUL "Well, I hate to disappoint you, but this is worth $30,000." (241 KB)
  • PsychicSue.wav – PSYCHIC SUE "I've got it! It's Jack..." #03.07
  • RoDAngelo.wav – RO D'ANGELO "I can't get married..." #07.10
  • YouGougedMe.wav – ROB "You gouged me on the rent. Will, I'm your accountant. You think I might figure that out?" (211 KB) #04.17
  • WG-SaveIt.wav – SANDRA BERNHARD "Oh, save it, bitches." (26 KB) #04.16
  • WG-Sandra.wav – SANDRA BERNHARD "What are you two Kate & Leopold-looking..." (239 KB) #04.16
  • ScottSender.wav – SCOTT SENDER "Dinner tomorrow. And just think, I'll be one day older." (121 KB) #03.21
  • Woolley.wav – SCOTT WOOLLEY "My name's not Frank Woolley..." #07.12
  • Angel.wav – SCOTT WOOLLEY "You are the brightest angel in all of heaven. Also, I'd like so much, so much, to get into your pants." #07.15
  • SisterLouise.wav – SISTER LOUISE "All I wanted to do was see the penguins. Ironic, isn't it? What's sex with a man like?" (457 KB) #03.14
  • Sumner.wav – SUMNER DAVIS "I came to see you. I thought you might like to have lunch." (132 KB) #03.16
  • Val.wav – VAL "My husband wanted me to get a boob job..." (661 KB) #02.20
  • Val7.wav – VAL "So, Grace, long time, no... I didn't know you were a big ol' drunk." #07.03
  • Vince1.wav – VINCE "Look how nice my hair looks. And now I gotta put a hat on? I swear if this blue didn't make my eyes pop, I'd be in sales." (245 KB) #07.05
  • Vince3.wav – VINCE "Why don't you lay off, you little bitch, before I rip your head off your neck." #07.12
  • Vince2.wav – VINCE "Ya know what, Grace? I'm sorry you wasted your afternoon stalking me, but I'm going with the key. And by the way, you might have made him gay, but I made him good at it." (388 KB) #07.05
  • Needy.wav – VINCE "You're too needy. And it's affecting my relationship with Will. So stop being so selfish!" (212 KB) #07.02
  • WG-BitchWitch.wav – WILL "Bitch" KAREN "Witch" WILL "HO" KAREN "MO" (29 KB) #04.21
  • WG-ThisVictim.wav – WILL "This victim is totally willing to get involved." GRACE "That's exactly how his last personal ad read." #04.22
  • WG-ShowBoobs.wav – WILL "We were hanging out, having fun... you showed me your boobs." KAREN "Honey I show everyone my boobs, okay?" (91 KB) #04.21
  • Zandra.wav – ZANDRA "The other 'R' is for how rotten you are. Get off." (89 KB) #04.04
  • Theme3.wav – The Will & Grace Season 3 Theme [0:09s] WAV (416 KB)
  • Theme4.mp3 – The Will & Grace Season 4 Theme [0:16s] MP3 (315 KB)
  • WnGTheme.mp3 – The Will & Grace Theme, Long Version [0:30s] MP3 (719 KB)
  • Theme.mp3 – The Will & Grace Theme, Original Version [0:07s] MP3 (108 KB)